All Things Funny...

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RED SKELTONS SECRET TO THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word or political. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
 
GrandmaShreds said:
Ever watch those videos where they go to college or university campuses and ask random students a series of general knowledge questions? It's absolutely shocking to see how dumb some of the kids are today. And a lot of them aren't much younger than I am. I'm in my early 30's and I really don't know what happened in the last 10 yrs or so. TkTok? Social Media?
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Makes me worry about our future that someone can't even divide 60 by four correctly. Since you're much closer in age to these morons than I am tell me please. How the hell did they ever graduate from HS let alone pass a college entrance exam? Does a SAT have minus scoring?

I want to avoid getting political here but what scares me is this bunch grows up to be the ones at political rallies who either believe all kinds of things that were never in the Constitution or don't even know we have one. They seem to think we just make up the rules as we go so whatever someone tells them they are they believe.
 
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soulman said:
Makes me worry about our future that someone can't even divide 60 by four correctly. Since you're much closer in age to these morons than I am tell me please. How the hell did they ever graduate from HS let alone pass a college entrance exam? Does a SAT have minus scoring?

I want to avoid getting political here but what scares me is this bunch grows up to be the ones at political rallies who either believe all kinds of things that were never in the Constitution or don't even know we have one. They seem to think we just make up the rules as we go so whatever someone tells them they are they believe.
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They passed through high school even though they failed (likely) because the school system didn't want to hurt their feelings. These kids get upset if they didn't get a passing grade so instead of dealing with failure and trying harder, the get rewarded for "trying" and put into the next grade regardless of failing or not. The generations after me have been coddled and babied so much so that they get rewarded for poor performance all because the system doesn't want to hurt them in any way. The fact of the matter is, if you suck at something or don't pass a test, suck it up and try harder next time.

I know that if this was going on when I went to school, I would beg my parents to be home schooled so I wouldn't have to deal with this.

I also don't want to risk getting too controversial as these topics tend to get spicy very quickly.
 
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GrandmaShreds said:
They passed through high school even though they failed (likely) because the school system didn't want to hurt their feelings. These kids get upset if they didn't get a passing grade so instead of dealing with failure and trying harder, the get rewarded for "trying" and put into the next grade regardless of failing or not. The generations after me have been coddled and babied so much so that they get rewarded for poor performance all because the system doesn't want to hurt them in any way. The fact of the matter is, if you suck at something or don't pass a test, suck it up and try harder next time.

I know that if this was going on when I went to school, I would beg my parents to be home schooled so I wouldn't have to deal with this.

I also don't want to risk getting too controversial as these topics tend to get spicy very quickly.
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This is so true. My former step daughter graduated from highschool and can't even do simple math or spell common, basic words. The teachers don't give ABCD and F grades anymore. They just mark Satisfactory or not satisfactory, and that's rarely.

Kids in china are doing Algebra at age 8. In the not so distant future, there won't be enough people that are smart enough to do anything gainful because they won't be able to read simple instructions or divide 16 by 8.

When I was growing up, if you got an F, you repeated until you got a passing grade. They don't give F's anymore. And the gifted students are lumped in with the ones who aren't as smart or able and aren't as challenged as perhaps they should be.

When I was in high school I myself, and a few other students at my school were spending part of our school day taking college courses. They education system in my state really sucks for young people. If you want your kids to be challenged, you have to send them to private schools. And forget about home schooling them. Most parents aren't qualified or have the time to do it.

My grandson goes to a private school. My daughter can't even help him with his sixth grade homework. I think that is part of the reason that my grandson lives full time with his dad now. His dad has a bachelor's and is wicked smart. My daughter is intellectually deficient due to an anoxic brain injury during birth.
 
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